THE RIGHT TO ASSERTIVENESS
RESPECTING SELF AND OTHERS
How to find a way to be authentic without the accompanying fear, guilt, or hurt?
“If you are unsure whether a certain behavior is assertive, check if it even slightly increases your self- respect. If so, it is an assertive behavior.” H. Fensterheim
Assertiveness is deeply connected to self-worth and self-respect. It is also a way of culturally, tactfully, and openly communicating one's own emotions, needs, and rights, and constructively demonstrating how they should be appreciated and respected by others. Assertive behavior is a set of interpersonal behaviors expressing feelings, attitudes, wishes, opinions, or rights of an individual in a direct, firm, and honest manner while also respecting the feelings, attitudes, wishes, opinions, and rights of another person (or people). Assertive behavior can involve the expression of emotions such as anger, fear, engagement, hope, joy, despair, indignation, embarrassment, etc., but in each of these cases, these feelings are expressed in a way that does not violate the rights of others. Assertive behavior contrasts with aggressive behavior, which, while expressing feelings, attitudes, wishes, opinions, or rights, does not respect the same elements in other people. An assertive attitude is also useful in giving feedback. Here, you need the belief that you have the right, and sometimes even the obligation, to tell others how you perceive their behavior, you need to accept that others may disagree with your observations, and you need to believe that your honesty does not hurt people but serves them for the better.
- For Individuals
- For Leaders and Business Owners
- For Teams
What will you learn from me during the meeting?
- How does the spectrum of aggressive, submissive, and assertive behaviors manifest in verbal and nonverbal language?
- How to assertively admit a mistake, compromise, or refuse?
- What do your boundaries or their absence inform you about?
- Which rights of personal dignity do you acknowledge for yourself?
- How to assertively give feedback?
- What is the procedure for escalating reactions in expressing negative feelings?
- What does your internal monologue that blocks assertive behaviors look like?
- Why is it worth working with the internal monologue?
- What are your superstitions about expressing pleasant feelings?
- What are the conditions and procedures for effective refusal?
- How to assertively express your opinions and beliefs?
- How to behave when being evaluated, criticized, or praised (justly and unjustly)?
When is knowledge of assertive attitudes and behaviors particularly useful?
- When you want to build healthy relationships with other people that foster cooperation and closeness
- When you want to avoid negative self-perception when leaving a situation
- When you need to adopt an assertive interpersonal stance
- When you need to express yourself in a way that is increasingly true to yourself, experiencing and thinking freely without fear and aggression
- When you need to educate others about how you want to be treated by them
- When you need to introduce a clear and direct message to the team: „I will not allow my rights to be violated and I will do everything to not violate yours.”
- When you lack personal boundaries, build walls instead of boundaries, or have a damaged boundary system